And this is coming from someone that still walks around and says things like 'Everybody knows that shampoo is better than conditioner, ' and 'Shtop Looking at me Schwann', and 'Peeing your pants is cool!'.
But seriously, the nineties are over and so are the years you had where it was feasible that you and Jennifer Anniston would fall in love. Just quit while you are (marginally) ahead, okay? Let us all remember you as Opera Man and the dude who made it onto alternative radio stations with a song called 'Lunch Lady Land'.
Did you know most people are saying that the reviews for your latest movie are funnier than the movie itself? It's just sad. And don't even get me started on your fascination with Kevin James, and the most awful two hours of my life that were called 'Don't mess with the Zohan' ( I was literally dragged to that one and gloated all the way home about how bad it was).
Just stop. Thanks.
-EB
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