Dear Panera Bread,

Why do you always give me the butt-end of the baguette? For once, I would like to taste the warm, sweet delight of the middle.

kiss my crusty butt(end-of-the-baguette),

me

Dear 27 year old Actor playing the lead in Disney's 'High School Musical' at the Local Theatre, reprising a role first done by Zac Efron:

I'm sorry, dude.

Embarrassed for you-
me