Dear Kermit the Frog-
You know I love you, boo. But what on Earth were you doing kissing Lady Gaga so many times last night? Although she did reach muppet-like heights in both her costume and make-up attire, I just don't see a future for you two. I'll bet Piggy was trying to do more than just read your poker face when you got home.
Keeping you g-rated-
me
Dear Russell Brand -
You are not funny, or entertaining. Or for that matter, a good human being.
Sincerely -
Everybody in the ENTIRE WORLD!
Dear Kanye West -
Please never stop being you. I mean really, was anything as entertaining last night as you hauling your drunk self up onstage and proclaiming that Beyonce had the best video ever right in the middle of Taylor Swift's acceptance speech? No, nothing was better than that. We all know that you get upset when you don't win, but adding a tantrum when people you think should have won don't is true brilliance. Please don't stop ever. What will the world talk about without you and your shenanigans?
Maintaining your street cred -
me
Dear Madonna -
You look like Sharon Stone.
Quit with the surgery-
me
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